Adios Accutane

Acne is the devil. This is a very abrupt start to my blog, but I truly have no better way to put it. In high school, I always had acne, but it wasn't something consuming all my thoughts. I could easily hide it with a good tan or a mask. This was not the simple solution when I came to college. 

As I said before, my skin has never been clear. When I came to Ohio Northern, my skin flared up on a whole new level. I remember crying to my mom over the phone at least once a day. My relatives or friends would tell me how bad my skin looked when I visited them. Those comments stung the worst. Regarding stinging, my face always felt like it was on fire. It was agitated, and I wanted to peel the entire top layer off. My dermatologist is over an hour away, so she only met with me through video appointments. We tried everything. I was a frequent visitor of Rite Aid, picking up numerous prescriptions each trip. I was desperate to find a solution. My acne was affecting the way I was living my life, and it made my confidence plummet. I never wanted to do my hair or makeup for class. I always dressed in sweats because I never felt pretty. Now, I know I still dress in sweats, but they are comfortable, and the easiest outfit to choose after I workout. 

I never wanted to get on Accutane because of the horror stories I heard. I thought Accutane was this monster prescription and my face would look worse after compared to when I started. My dermatologist persistently recommended it until I gave in. I will be fully transparent when I say the Accutane process was not fun. If anyone is thinking of taking Accutane, you need to understand how long of a process you will endure. My entire process took approximately eight months. Yes, I was on an extension of the baseline six-month treatment plan. Throughout the treatment plan, I was required to go to the doctors for monthly bloodwork and urine samples. Accutane is an extremely strong medication so I was under contract to use two forms of birth control or else the medication could kill a fetus. If you know me, you know I have no intention of having children anytime soon, but every person on Accutane must follow those regulations. From the strength of the medication, I dealt with symptoms such as bloody noses, dry skin, scaly skin, sun sensitivity and a loss of my skin's ability to heal regularly. Aquafer and lotion were my best friends these last eight months.

Last week, I took my last Accutane pill. It was a great sense of relief and a confidence boost to see the progress in my skin. Although my skin is not fully cleared, I am very happy with my results. My friends have texted me random messages saying how happy they are for me and how great my skin looks. Nobody will ever understand how big of a smile I get when I read those texts. All the tears and self-doubt from acne are gone. I no longer look in the mirror wishing my skin away and can enjoy my smile back to myself.