Controlled Adulting at College
Last weekend was a rare occasion for my team and I. We were granted Saturday and Sunday as off days. I use the term granted because this was a gift. Especially in the preseason, it is rare for us to have back-to-back off days. In this circumstance, those two days were the perfect opportunity to give the team the weekend to reset. We played in a scrimmage last Monday and didn't have a game scheduled until Friday of this week. Our coach understands the toll the season takes on us, mentally and physically, so we were given the weekend to come back prepared for game week.
Most of my team took the weekend to go home and
see their families. As much as I miss my family, my life was a mess at ONU. I
have mentioned in prior blogs my new sense of responsibility in adulthood. By
living in the apartments, I have created a new home for myself. My to-do list
was two pages long. I needed to do around eight homework assignments,
reorganize my closet, clean my bedroom, grocery shop, meal prep and update my
LinkedIn profile. If I went home, I knew none of my tasks would be
accomplished. When I go home, I want to relax and enjoy time with my family.
What is the point of driving home if I am going to sit in my room working the whole
weekend?
As obvious as the decision may seem to stay in
Ada for the weekend, I felt guilty for not going to see my family. My twin
brother called me two or three times a day to ask if I was going to come home.
I miss him so much, but I couldn't afford to come back to a mess for game week.
Have any of you felt guilt for choosing your college life over your home life?
It felt like a major step in growing up for me. Often, I call college
'controlled adulting.' I still feel like a kid, but I have more adult
responsibilities. It was weird to drive to the grocery store and spend hours
shopping alone. When I come home and cook meals for myself, I feel a deeper
sense of control over my life. Cooking is how I take responsibility for my
health. I don't have the luxury of coming home to dinner from my mom. It is up
to me to prioritize myself and plan ahead.
I do not regret my decision to stay in town for
the weekend. My week has been much less stressful than it would've been if I
went home. Opening game week is a very important week for our team. We are all
spending extra time in the gym or watching film about our opponents. I miss my
family with all my heart, but I know they understood my decision. I look
forward to seeing them for two days over Thanksgiving.
I often feel guilty for choosing boring adulting tasks over things that I would rather be doing. You are not alone, but it seems like a good decision that you made.
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